4-5-08

I'm sitting in our hotel room. We are in Florence, Kentucky.
My mom has been blogging about our trip so far.
Here's how you can look at some pictures I took at the Newport Aquarium.
These pictures are beautiful. The fish & etc were breathtaking. My mom & I stood there for moments at a time & just stood in awe of God's work. We wondered how you can make such a fantistic creature. Aww.
Here's my mom blog, all photos by me[=
Momma:http://g-shopper.blogspot.com
Check them out, please. It's beautiful.

3-17-07

My dad has recently told my sisters & I that he will be looking for a new job. He will no longer be a pastor at our church. This news was very hard on our family, but we ar staying strong through all this & hoping that God will provide a nice and friendly place for us to live. We are trusting him & ourselves that this was the right decision. So, we are on the move & without a solid destination. This is scary, but I'm sure it will all be worth while.

I have recently broken it off with Kyle again. Well, this would of been our third time. I'm not sure if I'm exactly single. He won't really talk to me since I'm moving. He acts like this is my fault & well, I don't have a choice. He's too immarture for me even though he is almost 18. He must step up & figure out what he wants to do in life. Because as of right now, he is going to be on probation in a little bit & he needs to get his act together. I love Kyle a lot but I don't want to see him fall like this all the time. He can't commit to anything & I had had enough. I'm at school right now But when I get home I will post what I sent to him on myspace. :] It's pretty crazy but its all the truth!

2-17-08

So, happy new year!!!  :]

If I have even written this year, I don't know. 

But what I do know is that I am starting out fresh, well sorta.

Ha, ha. I am trying. we will out it that way. 

I still have the same friends & everything but emotionally.

I am going to get my relationship with Jesus back on track & etc.

So, I have been doing well. I officially wish some boys totally didn't exist.

I just can't believe some of them can actually say & act the way they do.

It is rediculous. I am painfully still stuck on a guy that I have already dated.

He has lately tried to go for my best friend, but now, he says he is done.

Whatever, my friends say that he only does that to get closer to me.

But he is definitely a player sometimes so I don't know about that.

I might date him again, if possible. But my only fear is getting hurt again.

I was thinking about it the other day & it brought tears to my eyes.

It is so stupid how someone can treat you like that & then you still like them. 

1-30-08

So I just got back into class. I got into trouble because I was gone too long & I realized that I hadn't blogged for a while. I have had a lot of stuff going on. Personally, I think a lot of it has been boys. I had this guy, Colton, over to my house & well he left his wallet. Yeah, I am still in trouble. I got my phone back Christmas Eve I think it was. My dad couldn't hold it for long. He was never able to get a hold of me & well he gave up. But he definitely didn't give up on the fact that Colton & I were still sorta together. He doesn't like Colton one bit & I don't like that but at the same time I do. I like Colton but then at the same time, I don't even more. He is SO much different than me & our parents rules' are so different. Mine are better I believe but his mom isn't involved much in his life & his dad basically lets him do whatever he wants. Thats hurts him though, he does stuff that he doesn't realize is stupid or just immature. He doesn't learn anything by this. He doesn't exactly have good morals either. But what do I know? I am the one who let him come over & I am the one who still kinda likes him.
So, lets see, my best friend Tiff is liked by my ex boyfriend, Kyle, who I still haven't gotten over. She wants me to tell her the truth about all this & how I feel about them. But I think maybe this might be a good thing for me because I will get over him. Amanda practically laughed in my face though. Whatever, it isn't a good idea but I want to pretend like it is. I love Kyle a lot & I would do anything to be with him but he won't ever go back to me. He did about a month ago though, I turned him down because I was with Colton. I sorta regret that now. Surprisingly, my dad likes Kyle more than Colton.

12-6-07

Almost a new year && a month since I last blogged. A lot has happened too; I was going to date this guy && now I have chosen not to because of reasons that are confusing. First off, I don't like him like a boyfriend type. I also don't want to date him && be fake about it. So, I am going to tell him that I don't want us to be together which sounds really rude && mean but it is for the better. Lately, my ex Kyle, who I haven't totally gotten over has been trying to reach me. He says that he has changed && still cares about me. I don't know bout that. I mean a year ago, he ignored me every chance he got. I of course still have feelings for him; I don't ever know if they will go away. He is so sweet && my dad totally doesn't like him, which is obviously really bad. I don't need to get back together with him but I feel the urge to just because I care about him still. We dated on && off last year && things didn't go very well with us after that. It seems to me that every time get close to be with another guy, he comes along. Stinks for me because I have to choose && someone will get hurt in the end. Kyle confuses me even more because he always changes his mind about who he likes && lately it has been a few girls. He told me he cared about me && then about this other girl at church. But now, we seem to talk about the daily struggles friends talk about. We don't argue like we used to && everything is okay, right? Wrong! This is when I fall into his little, I love you & I always want to be with you. But now its different because I never bring "us" up && he always makes a comment about it then we talk. I like him, Ill admit it; but I don't think I ever stopped. There is a lot of things to not like about that boy; but then there is so many that just make you say, "Ahh, I want him!!"

11-18-07

I am totally confused about this thing with James. He confuses the crap out of me. He doesn't say good bye to me; he just leaves. He came over to my home on Saturday and hung out until 10. It was fine too. We never got too close for questioning or anything such. I will be his first as I have said before so he doesn't exactly know what to do sometimes so I will cut him some slack on that one.
I am really stressed right now and hot. I am literally burning up!! My grades are slipping; the only good thing coming out of this that I can think of is that my dad and I are getting closer and bonding even more than before. Yay! I am in study hall and I am about ready to get out for the day. Thanksgiving is this week and our students only have to go tomorrow and then we are off for the rest of the week. I am thankful for:
Bible&family&friends&God&the ability to worship God without being persecuted&my freedom& much, much more!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!

11-14-07

Sitting in class again. Ugh. So this new guy...James is the name. I am unofficially dating him right now. We have talked about it; but I am not going to till December 9, at least. I am not allowed to till December. My dad still said maybe; but I told James that I could in December. So, my dad better go with what he said I could do the first time or I am gonna be mad. I wrote James a note not too long ago; it was about how I felt about him and such. He didn't really say anything about it, which worried me. I asked him to go to the musical with me; he went. I see him every Tuesday night for about thiry minutes at the Boys&&Girls Club; our sisters play volleyball their. And, I see him all the time at school. We have talked a lot ever since the musical; at first we had a communication problems. But now we are getting better. Ha, ha.
My mom said my sister, Madde, is turning over a new leaf in life. Wow, I can't tell. I told my mom, well asked her what it was about what she was talking about. She said that she is trying to be better and lead her life to different paths; Her hormones have kicked in. Definitely! She is almost meaner. We used to be such good friends and I called her my best friend. Now, I would rather her not be by me. Her changes are not appearing, and it is bugging me. Why does she have to be soo mean? I try to help her out and give her some guidance and she doesn't even get close to treating me the same way. She doesn't act like she likes me or that we are even sisters.
My so called best friend, Amanda, has not been treating me right. Sometimes she does but then other times I feel like she is trying to ignore me. I want her to be my friend, and I want her close to me. I try to give the effort but then all I get in return is a smirk or something. She always talks about how I didn't like her when she first moved here. She was honestly a brat when she first moved here. Then at C.I.Y. we started opening up to each other. We had so much in common! I thought we would be like we were at C.I.Y. forever but it turns out that we cannot even do that for a whole year! Six months!
Here's the thing...last semester was "my time." I didn't need any new friends; I needed to get my life back together. I had some sadness thing going on and I totally wasn't myself. Amanda came and she tried to befriend me and came on to me way too hard. She was all about appearance, living for Jesus and herself. She just overly friendly when I met her; again, I didn't need new friends. I needed love, kindness, grace, and a little bit of mercy. I got all that from her at C.I.Y. From then on I was fine, my sad thing went away and everything turned better. My parents seem to care about me more and I was happy. I have been happy ever since. It is wierd now because since I have been with James, people tell me that I look happy! Do you know how GOOD that feels for someone to tell me I look happy??
I have not been this happy since about last year this time. I have not had a boyfriend since about this time last year. I have not felt this GOOD in over a year. And, now I think I am loosing it! I love unofficially dating James&&having Tiffany as my best friend now&&having my parents let me do what ever because they know I am responsible&&having the friends I do&&being this way!!! But I am MISSING something. There is something out there that I am not catching onto. I think it is Jesus. I think that I need to be closer to him. I think I need him more. I WANT him more! God, is supposed to be the center of my life and He hasn't been the last few weeks and now it is turning it on me. I am going to study my Bible more; pray to God; involve myself more in the youth group; be a REAL Christian again!

11-12-07

I have just made a hand turkey and am getting ready for our Thanksgiving issue of the newspaper. I sit by two guys, that only talk about the opposite sex or video games. It is quite boring. They live vague lives from what I know. But of course I have only heard about part of them. They talk about how the "goodest" girls can be so rebellious behind their parents lives. They know this preacher's daughter (like myself), who has had sex a few time and still is involved in sexual situations. They completely underestimate girls; I don't think they respect them at all. At least they haven't proved to me yet that they even should be by any girls what so ever.
But Austin is doing better, he still wants to be with this girl, Alex, but I refuse to let him. I told him that I would not be his friend if he dated her AGAIN! So, much to my surprise he isn't dating her. She also called him last night and told him why she wouldn't date him. She said she would go too far, he was very sad; but I laughed after he turned his back. Please, Alex, is clearly playing him and now, she is done with him.
The bell is about to ring and I need to finish my geometry homework. Also, I will get back on later and tell about this new guy I know. :]]

10-15-07

So today was a little bit crazy! Technically it was normal, but it is Monday. Ugh! I do not like Mondays. I am very proud of myself though. I have good grades!! Yeah! My dad is really proud of me too, which made me feel good because he rarely says he is. But I just have one stupid C that wouldn't leave but the rest are A's and B's. Yes, there are more B's then A's but hey, who cares. i am loving it.
Amanda asked me to go on a cruise with her about a month ago. I have to pay for it all by myself though. It is going to challenging for me, but that is a good thing. I hope I can get $500 though. I have to have it by the end of March. I have about $10 right now. Ha, ha. I might get paid for my grades, I am gonna start this job in December, and I am gonna work around my grandpa's house for him. :]
My friend, Austin, is in some difficult times right now. I am really praying that he gets better though. He doesn't do very well in relationships (he moves to fast). And, he argues with various people a lot. His parents said that if he doesn't get better, he might attend military school. I want him to succeed in life and grow with the Lord but he refuses to follow through with his promises and commitments. He basically never learns off of his mistakes the first time. I do not want him to leave Indiana or our town. He has made a difference in my life and is a great friend. I love talking to him and I can share anything with him. I trust him a lot.

10-12-07

My dad and I have gotten along pretty well in the past. It seems to me, now that I am older, he doesn't love on me (hugging) as much and he treats me as an adult almost. I do like that in a way, but at the same time; I wonder what if he thinks I am too old to love on. Yes, I am driving and in my teens but like I still love him so much. Obviously, I am going to. It just seems like we never talk any more. He always says he loves me and I know he does and I know he cares about me. It is funny, because honestly, I do not like him treating me like an adult. I am not even close to being one yet. I am also not the type of teenager who wants to grow up. I want to be in "college life," really bad right now. My parents are home and I have to hit the sheets. I am sleeping in tomorrow too. Good night!